*heart break*

It is now officially snowing. In spring.

Ugh.

I love you Owl City.

I recently applied to teachers' college, I can't wait until the day I get my acceptances/rejections.

I really hope I get accepted and have to move insanely far away. I want to get as far away as possible and I hope I never have to come home.

Why is love/like so difficult to figure out?

How many stories/experiences do we have to acquire until we find our happy endings?

I've always had the fondest wish of just waking up one day, and being 60, and the bulk of my life has passed. I'm at the end. The last stretch.

People always tell me that that's stupid, that the journey is the fun part. The your experiences shape you, but sometimes, I can't help it. I just want to skip to the end.

Sometimes the journey just gets too hard.

Sadness, I ordered stuff online and it never came in.

Turns out, one of the items was on backorder, so the entire order was put on hold. I went to Paypal and got a refund instead which was a process that was simple and quick but felt complicated. I wish the people just answered my previous emails or at least sent notification that the item was on backorder so I wasn't worried that I just lost money.
Poo.

Bright side! They attached a 15% coupon for my next order. Yay! I'm still super sad that I didn't get my stuff though. Urgh.

Whywhywhy did they just not answer my emails?

I hate when people don't think before they speak. It causes so many unnecessary problems.

I admit that I do it from time to time too but when it happens to you from the one person that always calls you out on it. Well, that hypocrisy just needs to stop. Like seriously. Give it a rest.

Argh. Way to ruin my night.

Also, I have stomach cramps. Perfect.

Side note: I'm watching this TVB drama and its pretty good. Almost done half! I'm so excited! Cheung Chi Lam is so funny hahahaha

The Rippling Blossom -魚躍在花見 (2011)

Aaaaaaaaah! JACKY CHEUNG!





He's so amazing.

I've forgotten how much fun blogging could be, though, I doubt anyone reads it. Hahahahaaha

Anyways, I love these guys. They're very talented and I've been following them as long as I can remember. This short is pretty funny but they have serious ones too. They're not very old and are pretty much representative, in my opinion, of many of the ABC's or CBC's out there.

Translation: We have horrible language proficiency and are pretty much illiterate but we don't want to lose our culture. Also, we're super proud to be Asian. It's almost like a trend. You can imagine *Must Have This Season!* written all over us. Hahahaha kidding, not every ABC or CBC is like that.. I'm not *shifty eyes*

Check them out. WONG FU PRODUCTIONS FOR THE WIN!

Short: Check out other Rick Tutorials on Youtube. Don't forget to look for their other stuff too!



Bloopers: Hahahaha these were pretty funny but pretty awkward



Site:

www.wongfuproductions.com

some things are just way too cool

I don't like online 'quizzes', and I really don't enjoy when people post them on their blogs, facebook, email them to me etc. But to be honest, I guess I don't have to read them...

But seriously, why is it interesting to post them or even do them in the first place? *befuddlement*

tangent:// I wonder when Hillsong is coming into town...

*there's so much work to do :(

happy monday.

- I'm really thankful for my friends. Thanks A & R. For everything :)

- Why can't I get this song out of my head? Not that I really mind anyways :P

For awhile now I've been regretting a lot. I've been regretting all (not actually "all" as that encompasses things from my babyhood, which are unlikely to cause regret. I knew I wanted my geen sam around all the time, no regret there.) my decisions in my life up until now. I've always wanted to have a re-do. You know, like if re-dos were possible.

I'd like to re-do the last four years of my life. Starting from the summer right before university. Before I became a person who was preoccupied with trying to fit in; to trying to experience everything. Not to say that experiencing things is bad, but I feel like I've made so many mistakes. Not mistakes like I became a drug dealer and then I reformed. Or like I inspired a gang and now they're running rampant in North York. Nothing like that.. well here's to hoping I didn't do the second one.

But mistakes that every person does, like being too impetuous and sleeping with someone thinking they were the one, when I really knew they weren't and just not admitting that maybe it was because I was too into the moment. There's also clubbing too much and hiding too many things from my parents, and denying things when I know I should've be honest. Every day stuff. I know my experiences shouldn't cause regret, and as a Christian, I know I shouldn't regret because everything happens for a reason but for a long time, I just wished I knew better back then. I think that's the overall basis for my regrets. That knowing better wouldn't have disappointed God, or myself and others, so much.

However, recently.. aka today, I was suddenly overcome with this sense of "no regret". It's like this rare, once-in-awhile, feeling that comes over me and makes me happy for my experiences. Because (that's right, I did a no-no and used a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence) its true what they say, that your experiences make you the person you are today. They shape your life. This feeling never stays indefinitely though, although I wish it would so I wouldn't feel like such a disappointment. But today, for a brief moment, I was content. I understood that everything happened, so that I could fully.. maybe not completely "fully".. but so I could really appreciate all the great stuff right in front of me. I can list them..

Great Stuff
- God
- Family
- K
- Friends
- Marketable Skills
- Plans: Present and Future

You know.. the usual stuff that everyone has. Maybe not K, and not special K like the drug, but K as in a person.

But back to my point, I really liked having that feeling. That feeling of knowing, I learned something from it. I'm sure the crappy "regretful" feeling will come back sooner or later, but for now, let's bask in the knowledge that things happen for a reason. That's there's a plan.

It may not sound like I believe in the plan, but I do. I have faith that God has a reason for what He's doing... I just wish I knew what it was or was allowed to know. Either one would suffice for now. And I really try to centre my life around God, but sometimes I go crazy worried. I really need to release my fears and just let God take over and help me overcome them. It's a painfully slow and arduous process but I think I'm getting there. Slowly becoming more Godly, more spiritual, more calm (I seriously hope that I'm becoming more calm, I don't think the people around me or my actual heart can take much more of the abuse). I'm gonna try harder.

But seriously, it took a long time for me to really understand and learn what it means to be a good Christian. 5 years.. that's a long time to get my act together. I'm so happy Jesus is patient and forgiving.

Oh my words could not tell
Not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

Thanks Matt Redman for the words. I doubt I could have come up with something this poetic on my own.